Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Hurdles and Turtles

I ran into a peer of mine at school and he shared his final month's work for his thesis. His work is solid, well planned, and his passion is evident and contagious. Aside from being very inspiring, it's a light at the end of the tunnel for me. As I am in my last semester of grad school, I am eager to finish strong but also quick. I am how you say, um...oh yea. Burnt.Out. I am exhausted and tired and feeling at capacity from everything I invest myself in. As much as I want the next four months to fly by so I can regain my freedom from an academic schedule, I am also very nervous. It is put up or shut up time. It is truth or shame the devil time. Was everything worth it that I just put my hopes, determination, and sanity into? Will it pay off?

Eye on the prize, Meggie. That's what my mother says to me every day. Offering her support and a good pep talk, daily she reminds me of this. She doesn't miss a beat either when I question if pursuing grad school was the right move. It absolutely is the best move I have made. I do know this; it's just that I'm tired of school for a minute. I miss leisure reading and baking and doing anything but school work. This feeling I have now though is good. It means I am going to hit my stride again and kick it in gear and knock it out of the park my last semester. I want this, I need this, I am incredibly proud of this.

Now go with me and this transition...

Whenever I see turtles, I see my Poppy. When I was a kid, he would always try to get me turtles as pets. Not from the pet store either. As in the kind that tend to be on sides of roads who wandered away from whichever algae infested water spot nearest them. As in, he would honk anytime he left my parents house for us to come outside and would be waving us from his car to come get the thing. He would yell to the my mother, "Come get him! For the girl!" And my mother would smile and close the door. Like ew. I didn't want a turtle. She didn't want a turtle. Cute and all, but I'm good. Why there was such an abundance of turtles roaming my streets, well, who knows. But I remember this was a consistent thing of Pops.

Flash forward, I have come to associate seeing turtles randomly as a sign Poppy is there. Now, don't call me in a jacket, straight up, just yet. Sometimes certain things just make sense to a person. At work, we have a pond on the property and there are all kinds of otters and ducklings and there are also turtles. At the most random of times, there can be a turtle making its way across the parking lot to the big road. And yes someone always saves him. When I am having a moment of needing some clarity, where I would have sought out Poppy and his expertise, here comes a turtle. Weird? Nah. So with my recent discontentment from feeling so overdone, I was browsing some accessories and low and behold, I found Poppy...











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